Truck Stop: About Lorry.

Me, myself and I.

This is so out of date it is silly - I think it was last updated in about 1999. Read it if you want but it's a little obsolete.

The basics...

Once upon a time, many years ago in fact, a cute little boy called Michael was born. Despite all the odds he did eventually grow up (ish) and is now looking forward to yet another 24th or 27th birthday, depending on his mood at the time... Don't worry, he rarely wears suits really, and that is quite a rare picture, he's more likely to be seen like this. He also prefers writing in the first-person so he is going to switch now.

By trade I am a Commercial Security Consultant; basically that means I cover all areas of financial security where Computers, communications and technology are involved. I am also a qualified bodyguard and an executive member of the Professional Bodyguarding Association, specialising in threat assessment surveillance and counter surveillance.

People seem to like writing about me in books and newspapers and generally it's not always nice. I don't keep my press cuttings generally but this one would have been quite nice except that earlier in the book the author misses an important bit out of something he quotes from me, the full version of which can be found here. I am sure you can find other mentions elsewhere and if any are nice, please tell me; if I get bored, I will collect some citations at the bottom of this page.

In the past I have been a buyer and seller for junk shops, a photographer, a used PDP-11 salesman, a private detective and a trader of "recreational armour". The latter is just like being a used car salesman except that the cars generally have deactivated guns and weigh a few tonnes more. After a while I discovered that computer systems management not only paid more than lots of other things but it also had the advantage that the better you did your job the less work you had to do and the more you got paid.

I live just north of London with a cat called Poggin and a whole heap of scrap metal that variously disguises itself as computers or cars. I spend too much time on IRC (as Lorry), generally on the IRCnet network on the #GB channel. When I can work out how to work ICQ, I think I usually use 33595233

For fun I write things that not many people ever read, I take far too many photographs and I collect original animation art. Before they changed the gun laws in this country I used to shoot full bore pistol, these days I have a few CO2 pistols but they are hardly the same. I drive a lot, and I used to collect cars but that is an expensive hobby, and eventually I ran out of parking spaces. I took up flying occasionally and occasionally fly a Piper PA-28 161. Luckily, I have nowhere to park a plane, so I haven't bought one. I am qualified as a Master Free Diver (single breathold dives over 100ft) and I also scuba dive occasionally. I have my PADI rescue diver card. I got this in the Cayman Isles where diving is far nicer but, alas, I made the mistake of taking it in a place where the water exit is up a 15 foot ladder with razor sharp coral at the bottom; that's not an easy place to learn to carry people out of the water. I got my Medic First Aid one in England, if that helps though... One day I will have to learn to swim so I can go for my Freedive Instructor certification.

I have been using computer networks since 1981 and I guess most people would consider me to have been quite influential in some areas. I still like using IRC and I have a mischievous streak in me that forces me to write inane web pages. I also put far too much effort into running "public access" systems and servers such as the now departed HICOM. More and more, I read comments from people that say after a few years on the Internet they are bored of it, this is a sentiment I just don't understand. For all the time I have been using networks I have never got bored of the new things you always find. All I can say to people who think they are bored of the Internet after a few years is that they must be bored of life and have very little imagination.

The gory details...

For any odd people out there who want to know more than the executive summary, I have collected a few bits and pieces together. Some of it is old, some of it is new and some of it isn't even written yet.

Personality Profiles:

There are lots of these on the Internet, I chose to use a nice short, but seemingly accurate one called the Kingdomality Personal Preference Profile - This will open in a new window.

My result was:

The Benevolent Ruler: Your distinct personality, The Benevolent Ruler might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. You are the idealistic social dreamer. Your overriding goal is to solve the people problems of your world. You are a social reformer who wants everyone to be happy in a world that you can visualize. You are exceptionally perceptive about the woes and needs of humankind. You often have the understanding and skill to readily conceive and implement the solutions to your perceptions. On the positive side, you are creatively persuasive, charismatic and ideologically concerned. On the negative side, you may be unrealistically sentimental, scattered and impulsive, as well as deviously manipulative. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.

Various citations - I have no idea why for most of them:

Michael Lawrie's 'Lorry' homepage. Email: