Truck Stop: Stephen Hawking Chat Up Lines.

Tink's "Stephen Hawking Chat Up Lines" page...

In 1984, Digital Equipment Corporation created a gadget called the DECtalk which, at the time was the ultimate in speech synthesis and oddly, getting on for 20 years on is still pretty much an industry standard. (Well it was when this was written... Now even the good Professor has changed to a NeoSpeech's VoiceText speech synthesizer.)

Professor Stephen Hawking, author of A Brief History of Time uses a DECtalk DTC01 to speak "through" so, unfortunately for him anyone with one of these can have great fun doing their own Stephen Hawking impersonations.

On the web in 1996 I found a wonderful page devoted to Stephen Hawking chat-up lines (it was at but, as is the way of these things, it vanished into oblivion some time later. Eventually, after all these years, we decided to recreate it with completely new lines because it was fun so; here it is!.

Disclaimer: This page is in no way intended to indicate that these lines have ever been said by Stephen Hawking, nor that the Good Professor would ever stoop so low (or at least that is what we thought back in 1999). All of the speech synthesis on this page was initiated by Tink the cat, showing how easy the DECtalk is to use.

(Click for full-size)

On most modern browsers, the intro link (underneath Tink) no longer works so, click here for the intro...

I suppose one day I should make all of these things play in-line but that is against my policy of making things work on Netscape 1.2 *grumble*.

Go Stephen Go! Show us your stuff!:

Just click on a corny line to hear how the Sexy Professor would deliver it to his object of desire.

Interesting Stephen Hawking Links:

Interesting DECtalk Links:

Michael Lawrie's 'Lorry' homepage. Email: