Truck Stop Documents: Kev's Courting Song

Kev's Courting Song.

Blown to much of me time
Buyin' Dinner and Wine
And me money on flowers and lollies
Only to find
That what's on me mind
Isn't on hers and she's sorry
So I've made up some lines
That save wastin' time
And keep me from blowin' me brass
I'm ever so cool
I just prop on me stool
Right next to hers and I ask

Do you fuck on first dates
Does you Dad own a brewery
Could I feel Your tits
Or would you show 'em to me
Cause you've got a nice head
And you look pretty honest
So me face'll be leavin' in quart of an hour
I'd like you to be on it

You know how it feels when you first meet a sheila
And the bullshit you gotta go through
Like callin' her up
An' tellin' her you love her
When all that you'd love is just a screw
But she wants to hold hands
And meet her old man
And sit around for hours and talk
But me new method is, you just cut through the shit
And get down to the goodies straight off

Do you fuck on first dates
Does you Dad own a brewery
Could I feel Your tits
Or would you show 'em to me
Do you sleep in the nick
Do you give head very often
If we can decide you place or mine
We can fuck off then

You know how it feels when you first meet a sheila
An you'd give a weeks pay to hold her
Don't sit actin' dumb
Just front her full on
and drop a few lines that I told ya
This new method of mine
Doesn't work every time, but then again no method does
I've been spat at and slapped
and need in the nackers
But then I've got a few fucks as well

Do you fuck on first dates
Does you Dad own a brewery
Could I feel Your tits
Or would you show 'em to me
If the answer is no
to me questions above
Then be a good sport and give me the name
Of a girlfriend who does

Kevin Bloody Wilson.


Michael Lawrie's 'Lorry' homepage. Email: lorry@lorry.org